Guilt among parents is a recurring concomitant emotion of the parenting journey, particularly in the early years of infancy and toddlerhood. It arises from the perceived violation of socially lauded standards of ‘good parenting’, often resulting in what parents feel to be a moral failure and posing a threat to their well-being. Given the role of self-forgiveness in assuaging the feelings of self-condemnation and developing more positive regard for the self, the present study explores it as a strategy to mitigate guilt among parents. Using a qualitative methodology, the study uses semi-structured interviews with six heterosexual married couples who are parents to healthy children aged between 6 months to 5 years. An analysis of the transcripts using Reflexive Thematic Analysis reveals three themes: “The ‘good parent’ trap”, “Need to forgive and accept self” and “Reaching forgiveness”. These findings were interpreted using the Therapeutic Framework of Self-forgiveness to explain the stages that parents go through, starting from identifying the social discourses fuelling the guilt, recalibrating the responsibility attributed to guilt-producing events, and finally recreating “parent” identities that resist existing exaggerated standards. Further, parenting guilt being entrenched in gender differences, the study also highlights how mothers and fathers experience and cope with social expectations and the resultant guilt differently. The utility of the findings lies in designing group interventions for new parents as they grapple with the guilt, help them move through the stages of self-forgiveness collectively by enlisting support from each other and alleviate its adverse impact on their mental health.

Authors:
Poulami Sengupta, Indian Institute of Technology, India
Atasi Mohanty, Indian Institute of Technology, India

About the Presenter(s)
Ms Poulami Sengupta is a PhD scholar in the Rekhi Centre of Excellence for the Science of Happiness, IIT Kharagpur, India and is working on exploring the scope of Self-forgiveness in assuaging Guilt among parents of young children.

See this presentation on the full schedule – Wednesday Schedule

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